This chapter in Living Sober suggests we try something rather new and unusual as alcoholics: being good to ourselves.
What? New and unusual?? Isn’t that what I spent a career of active addiction doing? One long self-indulgent, selfish, spree? OK, I can see that some of the stuff (ok, all of the stuff) I indulged in wasn’t exactly healthy, but surely I’m a past master at looking after No. 1.
Well, not really. The chapter reminds us that many addicts are perfectionists, impatient of any shortcomings, especially their own. We set ourselves impossible goals, and then beat ourselves up when we fail to be super-perfect. Being good to yourself is something that can be practiced on a mental/spiritual level as well as a physical/material level. Not that either way is a bad way. Mentally, I can remind myself about what went right in the day: I stayed sober. I made it to a meeting. I took a 12 step call. I ate 3 healthy meals. I got to the gym. I did some work. I made some calls to friends and family. OK, so not all my goals were achieved, but I did all I could in the day. And, yeah, the goals were totally unrealistic in the first place. And on a physical/material level? Well, I think I’m going to have a hot chocolate, and listen to my favourite Spanish band, La Buena Vida. I’m afraid I can’t tell you what they are singing about because although I have a Spanish teacher, my out-of-control pride and perfectionism won’t actually let me a have a lesson until I learn fluent Spanish from my CD’s first. Not that I’m mental or anything.
La Buena Vida formed in Donostia-San Sebastián in 1988, still perform today, and were apparently one of the cult indie Spanish bands of the 1990’s. I say apparently as of course I wasn’t knocking around Spain in the 1990’s, and there is not much written about them in English, and of course I have this Spanish linguistic problem of not speaking Spanish. I do know that LBV had two distinct stages, their early stuff being melodic, jangly pop with influences from The Smiths, BMX Bandits, Orange Juice, Belle & Sebastian, and then with their 1997 album Soidemersol they had a second stage with a much gentler, orchestrated sound. I saw them perform Soidemersol with an orchestra live at last December’s Primavera Club festival in Barcelona, fantastic because it was the fulfillment of an ambition (and a real gift of sobriety), and a wonderful gig, although I did pine for some of the earlier, more exuberant stuff. And now I’m going to blow my own argument out of the water (damn, and this was meant to be a super-perfect introduction!) by posting two tracks from the second, post-Soidermosol era. But both of them are the aural equivalent of a cup of hot chocolate.
La Buena Vida @ Primavera Club - Photo: higherpowermoment.com
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La Buena Vida - Autobuses (from the 2006 album Vidania)
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La Buena Vida - Vini, Vidi, Vinci (from the 2002 album Hallelujah!)
Next post: Looking out for overelation.
